


Afterwards

by simithedemon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Episode Tag, No Plot/Plotless, Other, Pre-Slash, Spoilers, episode s15 e03 The Rupture, stream of thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simithedemon/pseuds/simithedemon
Summary: POV Sam, following the events of The Rupture.  Unbeta'd quick reaction fic.  Very short!  Slight hints towards a previous fic but that can be ignored.





	Afterwards

Sam.

Sam was tired. He’d washed his hands countless times, holding them under the faucet until they were pink and pruned at the tips. The sense-memory of pushing the blade into Rowena’s stomach (soft, but that initial resistance before it slid in – the knife was mercifully sharp, Rowena took care of her tools) wouldn’t wash off, but he knew that. Still needed to try. He felt guilt but not as much as he wanted to. Sacrifice was old hat after all these years. The pain though, that never lessened. Death might be an old friend but he, she, they still packed a roundhouse punch to the gut. Rowena’s gut.

Stop.

It’s done. Sam scrubbed his hands across his face. He was so tired but he knew he should go talk to Dean (idiot, stupid oblivious idiots both of them, should smack their heads together)  
Sam knows that Castiel assumes that there were memories lost between them (spicy scent of feathers), things that weren’t acknowledged, that Dean could never know (he never misses the blood precisely but sometimes he misses the bond they forged when he was detoxing, the attention, the closeness) but he remembers and it might not be as profound but it’s there.

Dean needs Sam. Dean needs Cas. Sam needs the two of them, that last vestige of family. He sighed. He was tired. Screw the two of them. Why did Dean do that? Clam up, break his own heart, let Cas walk away. And Cas, stupid self-martyring Angel, using Dean’s emotional illiteracy to give up the home he doesn’t think he deserves. Screw them both.

For now, sleep. Tomorrow will come. Dean will drink and bitch and talk-not-talk about important things and pretend that half his soul hasn’t walked out the bunker.

Tomorrow will come and he’ll pretend he didn’t kill a friend, and maybe things will work out.


End file.
